Well I haven't written in a while i dont think. The majority of my entries have been songs/poems but oh well. Hmmm well school started and its been okay i guess. My classes are good and everything seems to be going well it just feels as if something is missing. I went through a lot of crap w/ Aaron I guess. I found out he likes 5 other girls, I guess I was just a rebound the whole time etc.etc. I just dont' understand what I ever did to deserve ne of this. Its like I still miss him but then at the same time I'm so upset/angry inside at him. I shouldnt be missing him and i don't want to miss him but i do. How in the heck could i be a rebound ne wayz when he liked me all the way since Janruary?? Gr. How could you lose so many feelings so fast?? I know! The feelings were fake teh whole time!...... I just miss having someone there. What did I ever do to deserve so much hurting? I don't know. Well a flip side to this whole dumpage relatinship think I've lost 13lbs! Woo Hoo! I just hope I can keep it off. You prolly can't tell that much but I feel different. Oh well, I'm out. Please pray for me

Lesley

I'm not gonna let you affect me anymore
You are the past and will stay the past
You had your time to hurt me and now its over
I hope you enjoyed it because I know I didn't
All I know is that it won't ever happen again
I won't let it happen again
I'm not gonna waste my time
Atleast I can say I was truthful and honest......
What can you say?

Those Words by:me

I was scared at first to give you my heart
but you assured me you'd protect it
you were everything i wanted
and i thought i was what you wanted

i gave you all of me
you even said you fell in love
i guess you were just pretending
because you took us and threw it away

chorus:
where did we go wrong
why did you do it this way
my heart is torn, beaten, broken
i was so at ease
you said you'd be there
i believed you becasue you said those words

at night i cry myself to sleep
i gues i learned my lesson
not to be involved to deep
but i just don't understand

you say you just want it back to "friends"
but we were never just friends
in the begeining i took that chance
i just didn't expect it to hurt so much

chorus

bridge:
although you hurt me and broke my heart
i still want you near
but i guess thats to be expected
you were my first love

chorus

i just didn't know it'd hurt so much

You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
And all of our memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending
So much for my happy ending

It's nice to know that you were there
Thanks for acting like you cared
And making me feel like I was the only one
It's nice to know we had it all
Thanks for watching as I fall
And letting me know we were done

Avril Lavigne: My Happy Ending

Well I'm back from band camp and I must say it was the worst ever. Hearts were broken, tears were shed and all that stuff. Aaron and I are no longer together. I don't really want to go into it b/c it hurts a lot. But anywayz its awesome to be back home.

Off to band camp! Cya on Friday night! Mwah!

Lesley

Jeremy Camp. Wow.

When we have a horrible loss in our lives some begin to doubt whether God is w/ us whether he is real and think how could you do such a thing. Jeremy Camp lost his wife due to cancer and still praises God w/ all he has. Instead of losing faith and degressing as far as faith and religon goes he gets stronger. I just think that is awesome. He can still go on w/ life and still have total faith even though he suffered such a terrible loss. He asks why everything happend sometimes why didn't He heal his wife and such "But it always came back to the sovereignty of God. He'd show me verses. I'd pick up the Bible and read about trusting in HIm. I held onto it and slowly but surely, He healed me. He's done an amazing work. No I'm able to help thousands of people through my music." Wow! That just makes me so happy. It just makes me realize that no matter what happens in my life that it is possible to keep the faith and stay strong.

"But none of these things move me nor do I count my life dear to myself, so that I may finish my race with joy, and the ministry which I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God." Acts 20:24

Lesley

Well I got my schedule and I don't really have ne classes w/ ne one. And from what I've heard I have the worst English teacher who is couturior. I'm excited. Not. Anywayz Last week I went to cp twice. Once w/ yg and another w/ aaron and his fam. Both were really really fun. On wednesday it rained a lot and it was freezing so that was a bummer. But on Thursday it was Beautiful! Well anywayz its Monday now and it is 1 month for Aaron and I. I haven't talked to him since Friday so thats a bummer, hopefully he'll remember and call me. Welp I'm out!

Lesley

1 couturior english
2 smith soiree
3 smith varsity
4 martin precalc
5 roussulo lunch/hmr
6 hunt german 3
7 barr jr world studies