Well things have been decent lately. On Thursday I gave blood.... that was craziness. I was freaking out hardcore. The finger prick didn't hurt at all but the actual giving blood did. They had to lay me down to calm me down, it was scary. Afterwards we went to Hooters. Ahhhh that was a weird expierence. I didn't really like it at all. Afterwards we went to Alyssas and hung out. I didn't go to yg b/c i still didn't feel good from giving blood. On Friday after school Hurst and I went to the mall and then Seth called and a bunch of us went to see the incredibles. I got lost getting to Seth's house b/c i took a different way. Bad Idea. So we went and saw teh incredibles and it was really really good, I liked it a lot. We went to Andy's house afterwards and that was fun. We watched 007 the man who loved or something like that and i feel asleep but oh well. I got home around 12. I was suprised driving w/ Seth b/c I wasn't as scared to drive alone w/ him as I usually was. I think I'm getting better w/ the whole being alone w/ a guy thing. Thats a plus. Saturday was baton states. I was tehre all day. from 9-5 I clerked. Then I twirled and then I gave out awards. I didn't get back into Temperance till 930 and I went straight to Hollys where a bunch of us went to see Incredibles/Saw . We went to Maumee but the 10:05 show was sold out sooo we waited for teh 11:15 show and I didn't get home until 2. Today i selpt until 2 (totally ridiculous) and then cleaned my room hung otu w/ hurst for a while then worked on an essay for college crap. Now I'm here.

Lesley

Yup so Lesley is no longer a Blonde :-D. Yes I dyed my hair dark brownish. I really like it. Its so much darker than it was, dying my hair was kinda a rebel thing to do, something that Lester wouldn't normally do. My mother says I look older... yay! But anywayz today was a perty good day. School was normal, didn't really do much of anything, I had a quiz in precalc and I'm hoping I did well on that. Afterschool I had my get together w/ Seth and that was fun. I was nervous and awkward at first but I got used to it and I had a good time. I was surprised on how I wasn't that scared. I'm facing my fears instead of letting them control me so thats all that counts. Tomorrow I am facing another fear... I'm giving my blood. Ah, I hate needles and I hate the doctor but a bunch of us are going so it should be interesting. Hopefully I won't chicken out. Well I just got doing 44 sit ups, 80 side things (don't know what they are called obviously lol), and then 40 thursty things (don't know what they are called either lol) and I'm feeling the burn which is awesome! Buh Bye 4 now!

Lesley

So today was an ehhh day. I'm a day behind in all of my classes b/c of choir but I guess you'll have that. I found out that we had a Joseph meeting today after school. I'm glad someone said something b/c I would have totally forgot. After the meeting I came home, cleaned my room, did my homework, and went to baton. Baton was ehhh. Baton is always ehhhh though.
I have been so stressed out about my weight lately. I never eat anything w/o thinking that I should be eating. When I get into the lunch line I think to myself do I want a wrap or chicken. I don't know why I can't be like yum chicken its my favorite, i think that i need to be getting a wrap b/c its healthier. When i come at night I try on many different outfits looking in the mirror to see which one makes me look the skinniest. Then I get down on myself again on how I really need to lose weight. My mom makes comments alot about my weight, she asks "hows ur weight doing?" "looking skinny?" "how do your pants fit" "hold in ur stomach now". I dont' think she means ne thing by them but they just get me down sometimes b/c I know that I should lose weight and I know that sometimes my pants are tighter. I love her to death I just don't think she realizes how I fee. I don't know. I always try and lose weight but it doens't usually work. I lost a lot of weight when Aaron dumped me. I need to get dumped again. lol. I'll figure it out somehow. Maybe I'll start running.
I can't wait for college. I want to fall in love, get a job, get married, have kids, and live happily ever after. Thats my one big dream, to truley fall in love.

Lesley

So things seem to be getting back to normal. Its like everything is calming down but there is something that still isn't right. I don't know what it is.
Well Friday night Holly, Krista, and I went to a concert where we saw All Intentions play. They were really good. The main band who was performing there was awesome as well. After that a bunch of us went bowling and that was okay. Yesterday was the Ohio/Michigan Choral festival all day. That was cool. It started out kinda eh but ya know. That night was soooo much fun!! We went through the Tim Hortons drive thru and it was just crazy fun!!!!! After that we went to matts house and that was crazy as well. I never knew a belt hurt that much! lol. Today Hurst and I went shopping and I didn't buy nethign major so ya know. I was hoping for someclothes but that was a negative. Hurst may dye her hair a darker color and I asked my mom and she said absolutly not at first but I think she's easing up a little.
Well on Thursday I wrote Seth a note asking him if he wanted to go to Barnes and Noble or seomthign like that w/ me. I think it will be a good idea b/c that way I can get to know him better (and he can get to know me better) and I can face my fear of being w/ guys alone. I'm kinda nervous/scared but I guess you'll have that. I gotta get over my fears. I need to realize that nothing bad will happen.
Well anywayz heres a song for everyone, I like it a lot.

Lesley

Every day is a struggle

Between what I want to say and what I should to keep to myself

And the words that manage to leave my lips

Don't hurt me, but they hurt everyone else



So I find myself in need of a pause

I'm not sure why, but I think that it's because

Of this desire to be what others want me to be

Which is nothing close to me



But I'll see better when the smoke clears

The smoke clears inside my head

And I can listen when the screaming doesn't repeat everything I've said

And all that remains me and who I am at the end of the day

And this happens every day ... yeah...



Every day is a battle

Between what I want to know and what I don't want to figure out

And everything in between in these thoughts of mine that you know I can't live with out



So I find myself in need of a pause

I'm not sure why, but I think that it's because

Of this desire to be what others want me to be

Which is nothing close to me



But I'll see better when the smoke clears

The smoke clears inside my head

And I can listen when the screaming doesn't repeat everything I've said

All that remains me and who I am at the end of the day

And this happens every day ... yeah... oooh...



But I'll see better when the smoke clears

The smoke clears inside my head

And I can listen when the screaming doesn't repeat everything I've said

All that remains me and who I am at the end of the day

And this happens every day ... this happens every day

This happens every day... yeah...

Toby Lightman: Everyday

So remember how everything was actually starting to look up??? Its funny how everything can change in a matter of a couple minutes. Please pray for me

Well everything is slowly getting better. Today in the beginning was perty bad. We took a test in english and then sang in soiree and then tried to sing in choir. We are so behind in Ohio/Michigan music its crazy. It is quite overwhelming as well. Well yesterday i misplaced my graphing calculator so I couldn't do my homework for last night and therefore I was kinda lost today. The rest of the day went well, finding out that BUSH WON! made me thoroughly happy :-D. In 7th hour were doing a paper saying whether we believe in "intelligent design" or "evolution". I enjoy doing that b/c I like defending my faith. Well after school I came home and took a nap from 330-630. It definatly was awesome!
I wrote "Bob" that letter and at first I think/heard he was dissapointed and confused but today we talked and joked around which definatly made me feel better. When I give people advice I alwasy tell them to look at the big picture and always think positive. I like it when I take my own advice. Of course things aren't superb but they are on their way to normal.
Tomorrow I have a NHS meeting,school, marching band, voice lessons, baton or praise team practice, then yg. I'm debating whether to teach baton or sing at youth group. I really want to sing but then again I know that I should teach and earn some mula. Hmm Well I'll decide later.
I hope everyone has a terriffic thursday! love ya

Lesley

btw it takes 640 licks to get to the center of a tootsie roll pop, i definatly counted tuesday in 7th hour :-D

Well everything has been kinda confusing lately. There is so much going on in my head and I don't know where to start. Well on Friday I went to Jon Foots bonfire thingy. It was perty fun until things started getting frusterating. Bob (using a different name b/c i don't know how the person would feel if i used his name) likes me and he pulled 2 people over to the side talking about things I believe had to deal w/ me. I felt kinda confused b/c I assumed he was gonna ask me out or something to that extent. I went up to one of the ppl he talk to and said "I dont' know what is going on, but I don't want to be put in an uncomfortable posititon." I don't know how i feel about bob and i'm not quite comfortable hanging out w/ him alone yet. I am kinda scared to be alone w/ guys, dont' ask me why but I just am. Well anywayz the person who I spoke to told bob to wait and such. I just didn't know what to do. I am trying so hard to get to know bob but I am just not comfortable and I felt like everyone was pressuring me. My delima is that i'm afraid that by the time I figure out how I feel and when i get comfortable he's gonna be gone and moved on already. I really do think that their could be something there that is why I'm kinda upset if he'd do that. He really wants to hang out alone b/c there is another side to him but I'm scared that if I do that I"m gonna lead him on and plus I won't really be that comfortable. I am also scared to get hurt again. This same thing happend w/ aaron. He liked me I got to know him and saw the other side of him and ended up falling for him and then he dumped me. Whats to say that couldn't happen again??? Thats why i am scared as well. I guess that he just really has to have patience for me to come around. If he really likes me as much as I've heard then I hope he'll do that. But if not.... then I guess nothing will happen. Things are just so confusing. Myheart is just torn in half b/c i don't know what to do. I'm trying to be nice b/c I dont' want to hurt anyone or myself. Argh, everythign will work out eventually.
Well saturday I went to central and tried for the centralis scholarship by writting an essay. That was interesting I guess. I got home around 730ish and a bunch of us went and saw the grudge. SCARY MOVIE! Ah! I like scary movies but sometimes they are just to scary for me lol. After that we went to Hollys and spent the night. It was Krista, Ashley, Holly, Chelsie, Nicole, Chad, Kyle, Zach, Justin, and I. Definatly stayed up till 530 watchign movies. First it was Hannibal (scary movie!), next Red Dragon (scary movie!), lastly Scary movie 3 (scary funnny movie!) Overall it was a lot of fun. Sunday we went and saw Seussical the Musical. That was really good!
Today was an okay day, I'm just hoping tomorrow will be better.

~Lesley

P.s. Yay for the new layout!